THE CURSE OF THE OVER-ACHIEVER AND HER BRIGHT SHINY OBJECTS
It's 4:57am, Friday morning and I'll be honest-- it's be a tough week. Over the past 7 days I have been on a serious revamping extravaganza in my business, letting go of what no longer serves me and getting really clear about where to go from here. Running a business, being in the social media eye, and speaking on stage has taught me about what I truly want and what I definitely don't need more of. It's time to start cutting out the pieces and creating a future that has makes my heart sing.
Last Sunday I made an announcement that I will no longer be offering one on one coaching services effective August 1st, this includes my little baby called Signature System. This program has showed me so much about the clients I serve, which in turn has taught me loads about myself. Just last month, one of my clients coined me a Business Therapist and that got me thinking about my work in an entirely new light. Signature System is sorta like a therapy session; I even find myself putting my heels on the desk as I listen attentively to my client share her greatest strengths and struggles. I see her beauty and I also feel her pain. I'm sure this is a skill a licensed therapist must master; something I clearly do NOT have credentials in (nor have mastered for that matter) and that may just be where I fall flat.
I realize how overly invested I become in my clients business and want nothing more than to remove the pain that exists in their brand's foundation; provide tools that will help them succeed with the hopes that once Signature System has been achieved they will continue their journey towards building their online empire. But that's not always the case. People give up on their business or move on to the next bright shiny object. For me, that's a bit heartbreaking considering I just put a piece of my soul into that work. I suppose that is why Signature System has been a wild success. Touche´.
While I feel confident letting go of a coaching program that has been the heart and soul of what I do as an online business consultant, the time has come that I distance myself from one on one sessions so I can let go of the heartbreak. Having launched The Willow House of Design just a few weeks ago, a design+marketing house offering virtual courses; this business model comes with a very different kind of investment-- equally challenging, but very different nonetheless.
I pride myself in being a techie backend kinda gal and I know developers already know the anguish that lives behind the code; it can be painfully frustrating and time consuming! One semicolon out of place and the whole thing doesn't function properly. Talk about pulling out your hair-- but I'll take dealing with software and hardware problems over dealing with people's ego any ole day.
As I untangled some bugs in my new membership site at The Willow, you get to know what people are made of-- myself included. Even though I come with a steel tongue with close friends and immediate family, I surprise myself at how professional I am in situations where others simply are not. I'll pat myself on the back for that one, but that doesn't mean there isn't residual dust-off that need happens behind the scenes in order to keep my sanity. I do get hurt and maybe that's the problem with being a woman in business-- those little buggers called feelings. People can be nasty.
As I shake myself off and stand tall in my decisions, I'm wavering at what's next for me. I don't want the stage, the spotlight, fame or even some weird social media celebrity status; that's all completely unappetizing to me. My love for the behind-the-scenes work is teetering it's little head, but is that really the solution? Or is it simply MY bright shiny object-- whispering in my ear "If you do this you won't have to deal with anymore egos or get too emotional invested." It's becoming clear that either way you look at it, you can't escape the fact that business involves people, relationship-building, customer care, and working out the bugs. And just because you're behind-the-scenes doesn't mean all the problems disappears. Bummer.
So I feel a bit sad this morning. One door is closing and another will eventually open, but with each new door I know there with be new problems to solve. Perhaps that is what business is-- solving one problem after another-- problems your clients need solved, bugs that need to be fixed in the backend, and well, the front of the house needs care too. And that's me. The over-achiever in me cannot help but to over-deliver, work hard, encourage others it's going to be alright, and you know what, even a deep tissue massage ain't gonna fix all that residual darkness that's collecting black dust all over my heart. It's as if I'm living in an attic constantly trying to shake the linens clean only to find after 30 rinses you can still smell the mothball that once kept it free from (ass)holes.
It's 6:13am and I don't have the answers. I'm not even going to try to rack my brain trying to find one either-- I know that's the job of the Universe not mine anyway. So I'm putting it out in the ether asking for a sign or a way to find a little peace and to hopefully inspire those who treat others unkindly to look in the mirror-- if you look hard enough you'll see those who stood before you in that email, in that private Facebook post, that telephone conversation, or that coaching call who truly cares about the success of your business and whom wanted nothing more than to give you the world.
For now... while I await patiently for the Universe to work its magic, I'll tighten up my terms + conditions and make it known to future clients (and to the Universe at large) that my company has a no-Asshole policy. I care too much to help those who disrespect me and my staff, don't think before they speak, and are careless with their communication style. Business is business, NOT a therapy session and I'm taking this one to heart.
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