3 Things You Need to Do Before Learning to “Control Your Emotions”

3 THINGS YOU NEED TO DO BEFORE LEARNING TO
"Control Your Emotions"

Control Your Emotions

Control Your Emotions

Article by Alicia Panetta
Philosophy of People
Magazine: Issue #18

After an adolescence of abuse and abandonment, I learned to protect myself. I was hard. Tough. Impenetrable. I didn’t even cry at my mother’s funeral. It came from years of conditioning. My father shouting, “Stop crying like a girl.” My older cousin teaching me all the cool kids crack up when they get hurt, not cry. Doesn’t matter where it came from though. Not so much as why it came. Why it came holds the real answers. But not in the way you would think.

“You can’t estrange or make enemies out of your emotions.”

One of the most valuable lessons I ever learned was to reframe the question “Why is this happening to me?” to “Why is this happening for me?” Once I made habit out of removing myself from the role of victim vernacularly, my mindset began to shift. I experienced my emotions more clearly and started to recognize the outdated patterns playing on repeat, no longer serving me. A pattern of numb, zombie like living interrupted by brief spurts of uncontrollable emotion.

Looking back now, I realize why all those things happened for me. The abuse. The anger. The sadness. The isolation. The more I bottled up, the more shit came my way. All so I could learn the importance of processing them. So I could master making nice with my feelings and share my findings with you. You can’t estrange or make enemies out of your emotions; you have to embrace them. And that means getting to know them reeeaaalll good. Over the past few years there are three practices I’ve grown to swear by when it comes to fully experiencing and learning to “control” your emotions.

Eat Clean ­

In order to “control” your emotions you have to know what they are. When you’re body is full of sugar and other processed, toxic shit, your emotions are going to be everywhere. Signals are going to be crossed. And basically, your shit is cray.

Daily Brain Dump ­

Either first thing after you wake or last thing before you sleep, take 20 minutes to write. Just let it out. Anything and everything. It’s called a Brain Dump for a reason.

Date Yo’self ­

Once a week I dare you to take yourself on a date. Go out, you and only you, and do something you love. For fun. Try to find flow. And forget about your phone.

Be sure to let me know which one is your fave!


Philosophy of People is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from our 2nd Year Anniversary issue.


Alicia Panetta is an emotional intimacy & intuition coach, experiential energy healer and holistic health counselor, AADP. She helps ambitious creatives amp up their lives with mindset training, movement, moon cycle magic using her signature system, the D.A.R.E. METHOD™. Visit her at Alicia Panetta.

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