What if for the next 24 hours you showed up in the world exactly as you are? While this may seem like a loaded question, the results just might astound you. You see, the majority of us dilute our personalities to feel more accepted by society or because we were raised not to be inappropriate or to rock the boat or to do as we’re told.
But as leaders, what we’re really doing is dimming our light. The cause for that dimming is called: tolerance.
What is tolerance?
The ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.
How long have you tolerated someone’s actions (or opinions) or a circumstance that contradicts who you really are? As leaders in our community, it’s imperative that our light shines bright and when it starts to dim, we know how to course correct.
So here’s an idea, instead of being tolerant all the time, why not shake things up a bit, speak up, and do/say what you want!? Who cares if your red bra strap is showing through your white tee-shirt and if you want to tattoo your body, not even your husband should have a say in that decision. This is your life, you lead it the way it feels best to you. Same holds true in our businesses.
Your social media channels shouldn’t just be a collection of good times and pretty pictures, it’s a sacred residence for you to tell your story. Plus, people really dig that shit.
(I’ll be perfectly transparent here, I’ve spent countless hours trying to figure out how to get my Instagram feed looking just right: not too many colors, only using 1-2 photo filters, and being strategic in my every post— but screw it. I give up. I don’t care anymore. It’s my feed and well, if you like me you might want to follow me. If you don’t, that’s cool too.)
This desire to be picture perfect to everyone but ourselves is not only dimming our light, it’s diluting the individuality of our culture and frankly, it’s gotten me a bit peeved. How are we suppose to lead our clients, fans, and friends to aspire for greatness on their own terms, when we keep editing and re-editing our own story based on what it looks like or how it affects others? We contradict ourselves. So let’s change all that today!
This month at Holistic Fashionista we celebrate fashion and style, but it’s not all about exterior; we need to be pretty on the inside too— that’s why being tolerant isn’t going to fly anymore.
For example, last night I took a look at my pajamas and was like, “why the fuck am I wearing this to bed?” Bows on my jammy bottoms— so not me. Why does this pair of underwear I’m wearing have zebra stripes on it? I don’t love zebra stripes.
If we took a minute out of our hectic days to track the amount of hours we spend on shit that doesn’t tell our real story, and paid our focus on being a truer version of ourselves, how would our life be different. And more importantly, wouldn’t we be more client attractive to those we’re meant to serve?
I don’t know about you, but I’m on a mission to find out.
So let’s do this experiment together:
Make a list of all the time you spend giving a fuck, and then stop doing all of them
Stop postponing doing something that you really want to do because someone close to you doesn’t approve
Check your Facebook timeline and write down the last time you shared something vulnerable. If it’s been awhile (perhaps never), then share something that touches your soul today.
Go through your product offerings and rewrite your sales copy to sound more like how you really talk— stop trying to sound like a sales man
Go through all your clothes, (skivvies and bralets included) and dump out anything that doesn’t feel like who you really are (hate those paisley yoga pants you got on sale, say farewell)
Open your fridge and look at your condiments on the door, toss the ones you don’t use or that only taste so-so (your tastebuds deserve better!)
Throw away the ugly nail polishes and perfumes you don’t use, yes even the designer ones you paid full price for
If you purchased a car because it was practical at the time, but you really wanted a luxury mobile, sell it and get what you really want— life’s too short!
Dump all those nasty lipsticks that don’t make you feel beautiful. Instead create your own shade by playing make-up counter
Unfollow, unfriend, and delete people from your social media channels who have bad energy, they are affecting you whether you know it or not
Write a newsletter to your email subscribers telling them you’re about to get real and if you lose a few of them, wish them well and move on. (It’s only a number and they probably weren’t going to buy from you anyway.)
Say goodbye to being tolerant and say hello to having a voice
If you hate your thighs, do something about it. Don’t just tolerate something deep down you really want to improve.
If you struggle to figure out where being tolerant is getting the best of you, spend more time alone. Dig deep and figure out what isn’t working for you and where your voice has been diluted. Then take massive action!
Clearly, I’ve struck a nerve in my own life as I’ve undoubtedly have been overly tolerant to the actions and lifestyle choices that do not correspond with my deepest desires, values, or self worth.
So today I’m giving you permission, as I have given to myself, that a life of mere tolerance isn’t a life that is truly aligned with who I am or what I want for myself. And if I want to stand in my power and be the leader I was born to be, tolerance is going to be getting some boundaries, sister!
And when you’ve finally calibrated back to standing in your power and owning your voice, it’s important to reflect. You’re a leader and what you do, say, and post has an affect on people— for good or for not so good. But what’s worse, is a watered-down voice due to tolerating all the crap that crosses your boundaries. It’s going to be incredibly difficult to attract your Kismet Clients and take your business to the next level.
Isn’t it time to say goodbye to tolerance and hello to becoming the leader your tribe needs you to be?
I do. Let's do this.
ABOUT the FOUNDER
Angel Quintana is the founder and CEO of Holistic Fashionista®, a business academy and magazine helping boutique brands get in front of the right customers so they can carry on being awesome! In The Holistic Fashionista Academy she helps clients discover their Kismet Clients®, curate a designer collection of products, and build well-thought out sales funnels so they can change more lives and make more money!
In her book, Funnel Foreplay, she teaches change makers how to quickly warm up cold leads and turn them into buyers. While her tattooed exterior shows her creative tough side and her road to success has been difficult, it is her thoughtful approach to brand building and unique selling approach that has won her thousands of raving fans.