How To Gain The Confidence To Go After Your Dreams



Article by Emma Ward
Philosophy of People
Magazine: Issue #18

I used to be the ultimate perfectionist.  I thought it was an asset.  This didn't mean I thought I was perfect; or that everything I did was in fact ‘perfect’.  

It meant I waited. 

I had so many dreams and I was waiting until I felt confident enough.  I set ridiculously high standards for myself.  I demanded more from myself.  A lot more.  I STOPPED myself before I even moved forward.  I questioned myself constantly.  I was waiting to get it all ‘just right’.

There was, of course, never a time when I felt ‘perfect’.  Therefore, I just became immobilized. 
Does this sound familiar?

  • Do you expect yourself to be perfect?
  • Are your dreams on hold?

You may never feel ready or perfect enough!  

Even if you had all the time in the world to: prepare for a speech; start a business; or have a baby, you’d never feel truly ‘ready’.  

So what's the answer?  Just go for it!  Done is better than perfect.  

However, if you’re anything like I was, you will need to do more than just throw yourself in the deep end...

You need to work on your mindset.  These 2 techniques will help release you from the vicious cycle. 

1 ::  Delight your inner toddler

Toddlers are who we were before the world told us who we ‘should’ be.  Toddlers are messy.  They’re happy to go from one activity to the next without fear of failure.  They color just to color.  Why do we insist they color ‘in the lines’.   

Get messy! Try something just for the fun of it. Draw, color, paint or throw a {rubbish} bowl on a pottery wheel.  Have fun.  Focus on the fun rather than the skill.  Literally color outside the lines on purpose.

2 :: Get up close and personal with your fears

Take out a notebook and answer these questions:

  • What is the worst possible outcome if you took a step forward?
  • Who do you fear would criticize you?  
  • What do you gain by holding yourself back? 
  • How would you feel if you do NOT take action towards this goal?

I can pretty much guarantee that ‘having a go’ and failing is nowhere near as painful as the frustration you feel at standing in your own way. 

Philosophy of People is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from our 2nd Year Anniversary issue.


Emma Ward is a Mindset and Confidence Coach. Emma empowers women to throw off the shackles of limiting beliefs in order to embrace their lives in full bloom. She guides each client through a journey to release their inner-critic, secure their confidence, identify their passions and achieve their heartfelt goals.  Emma’s passion and success was borne out of her own triumph over ill-health and self-loathing. Get her free eGuide >>‘Releasing Your Self-Bully’ 

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