3 Ways to Help Your Children Deal with Divorce

Help Your Children Deal with Divorce

3 WAYS TO HELP YOUR CHILDREN DEAL WITH DIVORCE

Article by Sophie Mihalko
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

Emotions fly high when two people who swore to love each other their whole lives choose to end their relationship and divorce. Parents who are dealing with their own emotions find it often difficult to help their children go through this emotional time as well. The three strategies below will not only help your children go through the separation of their two favorite people with more ease, it will also help you feel more adequate as a parent during these challenging times. 

1| Allow them and you to feel everything.
Children are very aware of their parents emotions. Even if the parent is putting on a smile but they are distraught inside, the children know. If you do not acknowledge your emotions in front of your children, they will be confused and start thinking they have to hide their own feelings. 

While it is important that you let them know what you are feeling, it is also important that you let them know they don’t have to take care of it.

I was often more exhausted than usual when I picked up my kids from school while going through separation and I would say to them: “OK, mom is very tired and very sad tonight, but I still want to know how your day went. Just know if I cry, it’s not about you, ok?” And they got it. I did not make my emotions something bad and ugly I had to hide, I acknowledged them and let them be. So when my daughter one day said to me she was angry at me for not loving her dad anymore I answered “I get that. What else are you angry about?” She felt acknowledged and moved on a lot faster than if I told her not to be angry with me. 

2| Look at the other parent through your child’s eyes.
Divorce is often a choice made after two people decide there is a problem between them. It’s normal to feel that the other person is “the enemy” or just wrong. But your child is not seeing them that way. For them, it’s their parent too. 

It is very important that you look at the other parent, the person you are divorcing, through the eyes of your child. Step back for a moment and see that in your child’s eye, that person is not wrong, that person has not stopped loving them and that person is doing the best they can. When you are with your children, do not speak ill of their other parent. It will allow them to know they are not wrong for loving both of you. As mentioned above, let them know if you are upset but don’t blame anyone for your upset. You have the power to change that upset even if in this moment it’s hard to see. 

3| Focus on the good times.
Going through Divorce does not mean you only have to be angry, sad, upset, confused, frustrated all the time, although it’s ok to feel these emotions. Find a way to enjoy this time too. A divorce means you get to create something new. A new home maybe, new friendships, new activities, new possibilities. What have you always wanted to do with your children that you did not do before because it was either the other parent’s activity or they would not want to do it? My ex husband is very creative so I often let him handle arts and crafts or “make a play” activities. But I am very creative too and now I get a lot of joy finger painting with my kids or putting on dance shows. I get to be the whole mother I know myself to be. 

When you are having fun, your children will know everything is ok. They will know that even if they now have to see their parents separately, their life will still be filled with love and joy. And as a kid, that’s all they truly want. 

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It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.

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Sophie Mihalko is a divorced mom of two girls. A former producer of large scale musicals she now facilitates change in the life of women, parents, and people going through life transitions. She is a Certified Facilitator of Access Consciousness® and Right Voice For You®. Divorce is a great change in your life and the life of your children, a change that does not have to be stressful or painful. Grab your FREE DIvorce Recovery Kit - A path to a happy home and life HERE. 

The One Reason Why You Can't Lose Weight

One Reason Why You Can't Lose Weight

THE ONE REASON WHY YOU CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT

Article by Dr. Ariane Machin
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

When we say the struggle is real, we mean it. Constantly thinking about weight, food, body image, working out, and our bodies leaves us exhausted. Every.Day. While we can sometimes put on our happy mask, fun mask, or ‘I don’t give a damn’ mask, on the inside, we feel sad, hopeless, frustrated, angry at ourselves. How did we get to this point? Why didn’t we realize that we were thinner when we were young (but still felt ‘fat’)? Why can’t it be easier? Why can’t we forget about it? Why does looking in the mirror every single day fill us with guilt, shame, and anxiety? Why can’t we just be different? Friends, you are so not alone in the back and forth struggle and just like you, there are many others who feel the exact same way. If you find yourself caught in this web of negative thoughts, I invite you to adopt a small shift in the way you think to bring about positive and long-lasting behavioral change.  

I know some of you might be thinking, how can this be true? There is nothing IN LIFE that is ‘one small simple’ anything, let alone weight loss. Though there is some truth to this statement, there is one very important shift that you need to be using every day to begin living the life that you deserve because you are a worthy, important, worth it, and loved because you simply EXIST.

The key to long-term successful weight loss (and any behavioral change for that matter!) is MINDSET. Our mindset is how we approach, manage, and act in various situations, including those that relate to losing weight. I invite you to quickly do an evaluation of your mindset. Are you someone who has set goals in the past but didn’t meet them? Are you someone who becomes very excited to try a new diet product, trainer, or meal plan thinking this time will be different, only to end up feeling worse than when you started? Do you find yourself on an emotional food roller coaster where you use food to cope with both negative and positive emotions? Do you feel discouraged about your body, food choices, and exercise and just want to give up sometimes? Are you persistent and consistent even when you feel down and discouraged? The way we approach these key aspects of our health and self-care will be the foundation for our future success, losing weight and otherwise.

Now, the first adjustment you need to implement is related to your weight loss mindset. When we are able to set effective short and long term goals, we are able to feel continuously motivated and inspired which can drive us through those moments of self-doubt and defeat. Working through obstacles is PART OF the process, not something that should be avoided. Think about some of your obstacles and triggers for old habits. How can you form an action plan and identify one or two things that you can do or think differently during these tough moments. Being self-aware and monitoring your behaviors will be super helpful as you need this feedback to intervene, but the key will be to evaluate this feedback in a non-judgmental way so you do not get stuck on the guilt or I-am-not-good-enough train.

This actually leads right to the second adjustment that is necessary for long-term weight loss and includes your flexibility mindset. Even if we have the best plans and intentions and organization, there are always going to be things that come up and prevent us from following through on our actions. Being able to quickly adapt and have a ‘go with it’ mentality will allow you to weave through the ebbs and flows of uncertainty and change. In fact, the one thing we CAN count on is to not expect the expected! Thus, the ability to adapt quickly and get right back up will determine your trajectory for success!

The third adjustment you need to make is to embrace a gratitude mindset. We need to be able to appreciate our bodies for what they can do for us versus being obsessed with how tiny or smaller or different we need them to be. This is often the most challenging mindset to adapt because these mind games just create negative and hurtful distortions, but we need to recognize and care for ourselves even when we feel awful about our lack of progress. One of my favorite sayings that I often share with clients is ‘we can’t nurture what we don’t see’ and there is nothing closer to the truth. If we do not treat our body kindly and see the good in it, it will not be possible to nurture it in the way that facilitates confidence, compassion, and long-lasting weight loss.  

Any long-term behavioral change, including weight loss, is going to test our limits, challenge our beliefs, make us face our self-doubts, and be an amazing opportunity to live by our resilience and strength. Altering your mindset about this entire process will help you adjust expectations and be able to take setbacks in stride (or at least make them a little less toxic). Now, go make today ridiculously amazing!

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It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.

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Dr. Machin is a Clinical and Sport Psychologist, Wellness Coach, and Professor of Psychology. Her latest program, A Course in Weight Loss, kicks off on October 5th! If you have been frustrated at your efforts in weight loss, emotional eating, and overall health habits, come join us as she teaches you a variety of tools and skills that have been proven to help individuals lose and maintain weight while developing a compassionate and body-resilient perspective of empowerment and self-care. Learn more about A Course in Weight Loss HERE.

4 Designer Myths That Keep You From Discovering Your Design Voice

4 DESIGNER MYTHS THAT KEEP YOU
FROM DISCOVERING YOUR DESIGN VOICE

Designer Myths That Keep You From Discovering Your Design Voice

Article by Jennifer Nesbit Holt
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

If you’ve sought out self-help tools to re-align with your creative process, or quietly tracked the success of other designers, you have firsthand experience of the power creative flow has to not only engage and ignite a following, but also to produce better bodies of work to support a life of freedom and creativity you desire.  There are many myths we tell ourselves as designers, not to mention a pile of mistakes.

Maybe you’ve even been one of those people who secretly feels you're not good enough because you didn't get your design education from the most elite school. You might even suffer from low self-esteem when it comes to thinking you can grow your design business to the next level. You know in your bones you are doing what you love (and your good at it) but you want in on the secrets of award winning designers.

So why does the idea of putting yourself first have you quaking in your boots?

Let me guess…

• You don’t mind a little grunt work, but you don't know how to grow a successful design business in such a saturated market.
• You love the idea of delivering high quality projects to more prestigious clients, but you bite your nails, second guessing if you're 'good enough'.
• You’ve got foolproof concepts in mind and you're tired of playing small .

Ready to unlock Pandora's box to release the blocks holding you back from being seen and heard as a designer?

Busy designers (like you) don’t have a SECOND to waste on activities that aren’t directly linked to profit. If you’ve ever tried creating a regular self-care routine before, you know that sinking feeling of guilt that you 'should' be in your creative zone rockin' out projects through to completion. (Ugh! It’s the worst, isn’t it?)

In my experience, I’ve found that four major myths are to blame for designer doubt and not feeling like your good enough. I’m going to debunk those myths for you, and show you how to replace them with truly simple, effective practices that will not only reward all your hard work, but have you doing kart wheels in the grass with excitement.  

Myth #1: Creating is organic, easy and effortless.

Now this myth, for the most part, is not how we see ourselves as designers but how non-creatives view our process. Our work is always fun and our ideas flow abundantly. Sheesh!

Now there are some artists who do fall into this mindset but we call them amateurs (or egotistical ass-hats)! However, a word of caution...if you are seasoned in your career, you can slip back into this mindset when you start berating yourself for not being good enough. The more creative blocks pile up, the more you ask, “Why is this not easy anymore?” Boo hoo, boo hoo (been there).

Self-care must take priority and should be treated as a delicacy that you infuse into your day, EVERY day.

Specifically, my Creative Life Series includes holistic strategies designed for the hard working designer in mind.  It also includes actionable components that you can use while you work! This is SO not about studying the best graphic design books.

And when everything lines up perfectly, your business grabs hold of a healthy and effective productive machine that acts as the backbone of your growing design business and gives you the opportunity to grow and soar at will.

Myth # 2: Every project you create should be perfect.

I hear ya, sweet thing!  Designers are notorious for perfectionism because...well, it goes with the territory of getting a concept through to completion.  Also, depending upon your field of design, it might even have to do with the safety of others. 

But here is the thing....if you don't feed that nasty little critter called 'perfectionism', the flow of ideas comes easier and the stress starts to disappear.  Imagine for a moment that you design in a peaceful state and not a reactionary-took-some-no-dozz state?

How? How can you be gentle on yourself, how can you stop nit picking every idea apart?  I'll tell ya how... Just to name a few, some of the best sources of for self-care are things like yoga, mediation, sound healing (that's my fav), movement, etc...  I want to encourage you to find something this week that helps take you out of the series-must-do-it-right mode and into some peace and serenity. Yes! This does require action...but you've already proven that you’re willing to put in effort–you just need the reassurance of knowing that every bit of energy you put into yourself IS for your business and will come back to you tenfold.

What you CAN’T afford to do is waste time and energy in perpetual “figure it out” mode.

Myth #3 – Designers must struggle, must suffer and always put the client first to be truly successful.

When you put self-care first you are able to communicate effectively through your work as well as to your clients.  Concepts become fluid.  You can not longer operate on the notion that hard work means misery. When you focus on your own sanity, you will attract the right clients and projects to enjoy your life with confidence and gumption!

Hint:  You are a treasure trove of abundance and when you open the doors to more business abundance, you will know JUST what to do when things get shaky.  (Scroll down to grab my freebie and discover exactly what I do to recover my footing)

Myth #4 – “What if I fail to produce or get stuck? Will my career will fall apart?”

False, false false! Self-awareness and Self-care strategies are a must if you are looking to grow your design business.

And if you’re reading this post RIGHT NOW, then you’re in a unique position to catch wind of this new strategic approach before anyone else in your niche does, and in doing so, claim your stake in the rich blue ocean of growing your business to the next level, and it's not about where you got your education.

So chances are that even if your competitors are already using these holistic strategies, you can gain a competitive advantage by being the FIRST to build a design business backed with full intention, creative flow and magnetic energy based on some of the proven techniques, and strategies that I’m about to share with you. Keep reading . . . now that you know the 4 designer's myths, I’ve created a DETAILED, free cheat sheet to help you with your first (or next!) step to finding your authentic design voice . . .

My wish for you is to sidestep the countless traps that make most designers burnout, and instead learn how to create a masterpiece called your own design biz.

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It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.

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Jennifer Nesbit Holt, CEO/Founder of Flow Creative Design, is an expert in instilling masterful evolution in professional designers seeking to let go of perfectionism, stop stalking influential designers to unleash your design voice. 

Stop Resisting and learn how To Become an Award Winning Designer. Grab her new freebie "Mistakes Every Designer Makes" (when they desire to be an industry mover and shaker).

Twelve Telltale Signs it’s Time to Create an Exit Strategy For Quitting Your Soul-Sapping Job

TWELVE TELLTALE SIGNS IT'S TIME TO CREATE AN
EXIT STRATEGY FOR QUITTING YOU SOUL-SAPPING JOB

Article by Sophia Marsh-Ochsner
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

Signs it’s Time to Create an Exit Strategy For Quitting Your Soul-Sapping Job

When it comes to climbing the success ladder, I’ve worn all the labels. Corporate careerist? Yep. Wantrapreneur? Check. Entrepreneurial small-business owner? Absolutely – in fact, still going strong. So believe me when I say with wholehearted empathy that I’ve walked many-a-mile in your Louboutin shoes.  

So let’s get real. During my nine-plus career lives, I’ve seen my share of flashing red lights telling me it was time to leave the latest “dream job” that turned sour. But there were other times when I missed the career forest for the trees entirely, languishing in a no-future position far longer than I want to admit. If only I had learned to recognize these emergency signals, I could have circumvented some of the self-inflicted drama and dove head first into my destined sweet spot years earlier.  

Save yourself the heartache and learn from my good (and not-so-good) experience. Here are 12 signs that your job or business isn’t a good fit or you have outgrown your career aspirations. Warning: If you identify with three or more on the checklist, or find yourself virtually high five-ing me and hollering, “Yes, me too!” then take it as a cue to begin creating your exit strategy NOW versus someday. 

1| You’ve lost that loving feeling. You can’t seem to muster up the passion or motivation you once had for your job or profession  

2| Your self-esteem and confidence are slowly spiraling down. The stress and anxiety are now affecting your physical and mental health and impacting your relationships. 

3| Energy Leaks. You’re beginning to lack the internal stamina to keep doing what you’re doing. Instead, your job is one big energy drain. 

4| Who am I? You find yourself asking existential questions like why am I here, what’s it all about, what’s wrong with me, why can’t I be happy, what’s my damn purpose?

5| If only… Quitting your job feels like walking the proverbial plank but you can’t seem to muster the courage of Jack Sparrow to jump ship. 

6| Misery loves company. You whine and gripe to your loved ones and eventually to anyone who will listen about how much you hate your life (hint...probably because you spend two thirds of it at your job).  

7| Truth or Dare. On your drive into work you imagine walking into your boss’ office and throwing down the “I-quit-this-soul-sucking-job” gauntlet. 

8| Personal vices. You use distractions (alcohol, food, shopping...pick your poison) and personal sick days to try to recalibrate and come up for air, so you can suck it up and do it again next week. 

9| Excuses, excuses, excuses. You find yourself saying, “I would love to quit but (fill in the excuses blank...”I need the money honey, now’s not the right time, I’m not really ready, I can do this another year” (yeah right).

10| Sunday Night Sadness & Monday Morning Blues. Your Sunday night pit in the stomach transitions into Monday morning madness. You know you’re on the “wash, rinse and repeat” career spin cycle but don’t know how to plan your great escape.

11| Reality dawns. The excruciating fear of never reaching your potential, fulfilling your purpose and living out yours passion becomes intolerable for your soul to bare. 

12| No self-expression = expect depression. Abraham Maslow, the American psychologist identified five critical human needs that sustain and motivate human behavior. It’s no surprise that self-fulfillment and realizing one’s potential ranks high up on the totem pole. However, Gallup polls show that 70% of Americans hate their stinkin’ jobs. So it doesn’t take a genius to see that there may be some correlation with the rampant rise of depression and anxiety in our society, given that most of us are walking around with a prolonged sense of hopelessness.   

So whether you are thirty, forty or fifty-something, the midlife career crisis happens to almost everyone. When the lack of fulfillment finally becomes too much to bear, it’s time to jump or no-jump...take flight or flee...play deal or no deal..you get my drift. 

While success is created in the mind, happiness is cultivated in the soul. Your mind can only fool you for so long but your soul knows better. So thank your soul for giving you those pesky cues and pointing you in the direction of truth. Jumping into uncertainty is far better than dying a slow death with your song unsung.

Believe me, I know. I “discovered” the disconnect early enough to do something about it.

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It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.

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Sophia is a UK-born, LA-based empowerment coach, chief rally crier and conscious entrepreneur that inspires anew. She speaks on the importance of gaining clarity, cultivating confidence, and creating a soulfully aligned life and purpose. 

She now supports women globally to discover their destined sweet spot in life and business through her Milk & Honey™ Method. This process supports women at pivotal points in their life and career to make powerful transitions by charting soulfully aligned careers and exit strategies. Uncertain about your next career or business step? Email sophia@sophiaschoice.com  to get your FREE Milk and Honey™ Exit & Encore Roadmap, a mindful tool to help you navigate your next professional leap.

8 Tips to Developing Your Creative Practice

Developing Your Creative Practice

8 TIPS TO DEVELOPING YOUR CREATIVE PRACTICE

Article by Jeannine Chanin Penn
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

Have you noticed that creativity and creative thinking has been popping up more and more in articles and books from scientists, psychologists, teachers and artists? From Fortune 500 Companies to schools to your own personal pursuits, embracing innovation and creativity is essential. 

“Creativity is not an option, it’s an absolute necessity.” - Sir Ken Robinson, Ph.D

Are you someone who loves being or wants to be creative? Do you think you have to be born with it? Are you a practicing artist that often feels stuck? The truth is anyone can learn to hone the mindset of thinking and expanding creatively. 

The following is a short list of what I have found to be essential in my practice and relatively easy to incorporate even in some small way into your life. By developing these habits, you will foster greater creativity in your work, your life and your art.

1| Be Curious… about everything. Ask questions. Learn something new. “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” ~Albert Einstein
2| Be Observant. Look around. Look down. Look up. People watch. Take a walk.
3| Be Playful. Play like a kid. Play with a kid. Play, be playful, be silly and joyful.
4| Be Spontaneous. Allow spontaneity in your life. Ditch the plans once in a while and just go with the flow.
5| Be quiet. Find your quiet. Your solitude. Practice mindfulness and take that time for you. “Without great solitude no serious work is possible.”  ~ Pablo Picasso
6| Be a Dreamer. Daydream. When you’re in the shower, your car and anywhere else your mind wanders. Give your imagination free reign to think from the brilliant to the bizarre to the ridiculous!
7| Be courageous. I’m not talking the jumping out of airplane kind of courageous (although that counts!) I mean the risk taking, willing to fail kind of courageous. 
8| Be consistent. Make it a habit. Make it a practice. Fine tune and repeat.

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It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.

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Jeannine (j9) Chanin Penn Owner + Chief Creative Counsel of xoj9Creative Creative Direction | Visual Design | Marketing. Jeannine has worked more than 20 yrs as a CD including work for HBO & TBWA Chiat/Day and currently focuses on small businesses and entrepreneurs. Jeannine believes that "creativity is a birthright". Click Here to sign-up and download your FREE Creative Playpenn© Starter Kit: Tips and Tools to Creative Expression and Expansion in Your Daily Life.

Turn Your Talents into Cash: 3 Proven Strategies for Success in the Arts

TURN YOUR TALENTS INTO CASH:
3 PROVEN STRATEGIES FOR SUCCESS IN THE ARTS

Strategies for Success in the Arts

Article by Pamela C Wills
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

To be successful in the arts, you have to treat your talents like your treasure. 

YOUR TALENT IS YOUR WEALTH. YOUR CREATIVITY HAS VALUE.
 
Uncomfortable reading that? Time for an attitude adjustment, my friend. Your attitude about your value as an Artist and what you create has everything to do with how much BANK you make.

The Starving Artist Myth...

Too many artists believe the tired myth that art is more legit when created by poor people. FYI: This crazy idea was popularized mid-19th century by French poet Henri Murger, who made some extra cash with his novel, Scènes de la vie bohème about a bunch of poor artists in Paris. The book was wildly popular; suddenly, starving artists were trendy.

But that was almost two centuries ago!!! Before running water, sliced bread and the Internet! Perversely, we’ve been dragging that tired old myth behind us like a gigantic ball and chain for 150+ years. 

To make matters worse, too many artists still believe that poverty and suffering contribute to superior art.

That’s just BULLFEATHERS!

Artists, we MUST let the starving artist myth DIE. Financial bankruptcy does NOT make us artistically superior. Access to deep emotions combined with strong talents make great art. Poverty and suffering distract us from creating. Financial solvency provides a solid foundation from which to do more of what we love and the peace to do it spectacularly. 

Ditch that myth with three strategies I’ve proven to create success in the arts:

1 :: Learn to believe in your Artist self.

• This first step is crucial. You MUST believe in your talent to make a living from it! To get your big break and succeed, your very first step towards busting the starving artist syndrome is to OWN your talents! Every business owner must believe in what they’re selling and you’re no exception.
• Start calling yourself an Artist – whether songwriter, designer, sculptor, choreographer, actor or other creative pro – say I AM! Own your Artist self and you’ll be on your way.
• Fear, doubt and worry are like the Bermuda Triangle of life. They affect your bottom line profoundly. To escape the trap, realize that fear is just a word and let it go. Eject doubt from your mind. Be ruthless with worry; show it the hand. 
• Forget about Plan B. Go for the gold! Without compelling belief in yourself and your work, you’ll spin your wheels forever. Fear, doubt and worry kill dreams – let them go and watch yourself soar.

2 :: Quit badmouthing yourself and your money.

• Ditch your negative money story. Negativity affects your ability to make money in profound ways. Give yourself permission to make money. Releasing negative money blocks creates essential shifts in how you make bank – and how much.
• To delete the starving artist from your psyche, lock the door on negativity. Positivity and high self-esteem are KEY to unlocking your desires. 
• Stop the negative chatter in your mind. Negative self-talk is incredibly damaging to your self-esteem and therefore, your bank account. When you continually tell yourself you're no good, eventually you believe it! That is exactly how the myth perpetuates itself.
• Ever heard the story of how Jim Carrey carried a check in his wallet for $1 million that he wrote to himself while he hustled for years to get his big acting break? Legend says he looked at it regularly and believed in the reality of it. Guess what? It worked.

3 :: Take action and create your plan for success.

• Take daily action to get yourself and your work noticed. Otherwise, you’ll never get your big break. Every accomplishment builds your confidence, your reputation and sales!
• Get organized about running your business. If you keep treating it like a hobby, everyone else will, too. 
• Promoting yourself and your work is essential to success. Always be marketing!
• Protect your vision, also known as your BRAND. Even if you think other Artists have already done what you do, keep going! No one else can do your thing quite like you do. Remember, your talent is your treasure! 
• Get help. It’s almost impossible to make it in any business without help. Work with someone more experienced than you are to achieve your goals and turn your talents into cash!

Tremendous joy results from earning your living from doing something you’d happily do for free. Not many become celebrity movie stars or bestselling authors. However, if you follow your passions and talents, you give yourself the very best chance to grow into the most successful Artist you can be. Standing up for your inner Artist also lets you spend more days doing what you love and earning more money doing it.

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It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.

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Revolution Ringleader Pamela C Wills is a choreographer/writer with a passion for business who teaches multitalented creatives how to turn talents into cash. Her Get Your Big Break! program dives into three strategies to level up your creative success. Want to make money in the arts? Don’t just dabble in your art, download your FREE report, "Turn Your Talents into Cash: 10 Simple Steps" at www.PamelaCWills.com and start calling YOUR shots today!

5 Ways to Regain (some) Control After Trauma

Regain (some) Control After Trauma

5 WAYS TO REGAIN {some} CONTROL AFTER TRAUMA

Article by Michelle Bennington
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

You’re a survivor and you’ve lost control, but you are not alone. Something terrible has happened and left you uncertain about everything you once thought you knew. Or, maybe you never claimed to have it together to begin with. Either way, you’re here because you’re trying, you want to feel like yourself again, and you know there is hope. While there are no quick fixes and your journey is undoubtedly your own, there are a few things you can do to regain (some) control today.

Be okay with not being okay.
As tempting as it might become, you simply cannot force feed yourself happiness. You are a strong and magnificent human but let's be honest, even Wonder Woman requires recovery. Sometimes life throws you villains that will temporarily knock you down, and acknowledging that you have fallen does not mean you aren’t capable of getting up. Accept that you've taken a hit and attempt to allow yourself to be okay with that. This does not mean you have been defeated nor does it mean you can’t rise again stronger than before. You’re not okay today, but you will be soon.

Write it out.
All of the words you've been swallowing back and everything you think is going to make other people uncomfortable, release them. Send all of those emotions out through your fingertips even if they’re impossible to translate later. You're not looking to write a best selling novel, you are simply acknowledging that there's a hell of a lot happening inside of you and you want it out. Whether you’re a writer, artist, or a mathematician, allowing the words to escape will bring you some relief. Take the time to write everyday about everything and about nothing. Write until the paragraphs start becoming more clear, and then continue writing.

Don’t rely on answers, justification, or finding someone to blame (including yourself).
This one won’t be easy and while you may certainly deserve all of the above, focusing your energy here isn't going to help you regain any real control. Sometimes it’s best to take a step back from the unknown to refocus on what we do know. Perhaps everything doesn’t happen for a reason we can comprehend but something beautiful CAN always be born from tragedy, eventually. Maybe not today, maybe not for ten years but rest assured that shining light will appear and any energy you spent running from it will have been wasted. Something horrible happened, and you may not understand why, but you don't have to.

Throw a little party in your comfort zone.
Never underestimate the power of simplicity. Pup cuddles, nature walks, nachos, and Netflix still apply even on the darkest of days. Taking time to allow yourself your favorite things is undoubtedly always a good thing. Whatever brought you comfort before you lost control still can if you allow it. What's currently holding you down might feel stronger and more resilient than temporary fixes but it won't outlive your happiness if you commit to continue trying. While it may be annoyingly difficult to find comfort amongst the chaos, when you do, it will be worth it. Small steps are still steps in the right direction and you deserve relief.

Breathe.
Breathing, seemingly so effortless to some but sometimes the most challenging undertaking of all, plays a lead role in regaining control. Take a minute (or seven) and try to think about nothing beyond your breath. When thoughts arise, kindly excuse them and refocus. On the outside it may seem as though you're merely existing but you will know better... This moment, no matter how short, no matter how small, you will be in control.

There is no magic cure or immediate answer for regaining control. Nothing in life is one size fits all and you will always have to discover what works for you. However, there are countless ways to get closer. With daily effort and relentless hope, you will feel your small steps becoming massive strides. You will get there, and you are not alone​.

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It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.

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Michelle is an inspiration mentor and preliminary business planning coach. Her newest venture, Essential Muse, will help survivors of trauma transform themselves into badass lady-bosses so their stories, strength, and refreshed vibrancy can help an otherwise suppressed world come alive! 

Thriving as an Empath: 4 Steps to Your Inner Healer

4 Steps to Your Inner Healer

THRIVING AS AN EMPATH: 4 STEPS TO YOUR INNER HEALER

Article by John Scardina
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

Empathy: the feeling that you understand and share another person's experiences and emotions, the ability to share someone else's feelings. Absorbing the feeling of others.

It may sometimes take a lifetime to understand why we feel the way we feel around others or especially in a crowd of people. Why are we sad consistently when near certain people, why we are filled with anxiety with others, why do we make bad decisions while around certain others? If you sometimes prefer to be alone rather than be in a crowded environment or be somewhere in nature and solitude as much as possible, you may very well be an Empath and not even realize the gift you possess.

Most people when trying to figure out why certain emotions seem out of their control while surrounded by certain people, go through a plethora of reasons why these events occur, never checking into the option of being an empath. Some consider being an empath equal to a disease or affliction. This can be true if you do not realize the power that is inside of you waiting to be polished and serve you well throughout your life. Empaths hold many traits such all-knowing or intuition and tapping into and understanding this may allow you to be a self-healer and or the ability to heal others.

The challenge to thriving as an empath is to be able to zero in as to what type of empath you are. Rather than being overwhelmed by absorbing others emotions or traits you can learn to block the negativity and become a master of your own emotions, with that ability to heal yourself and others. An amazing positive for anyone willing to manifest and become the type of empath that they may be.

1| Identify what type of empath exists in you.
2| Develop and own the traits you possess.
3| Learn to block the events that are not productive.
4| Manifest the inner healer that exists inside of you.

Types of empaths:

Telepathy – the empathic ability to read people’s thoughts

Mediumship – the empathic ability to feel the presence and energies of spirits

Physical Healing – the empathic ability to feel other people’s physical symptoms in your own body (and often the ability to heal, transform or transmute them)

Emotional Healing – the empathic ability to feel another person’s emotions

Animal Communication – the empathic ability to hear, feel and communicate with animals

Nature – the empathic ability to read, feel and communicate with nature and with plants

Geomancy – the empathic ability to read the energy of places and of the land – geomancers can feel the energies of the Earth, such as Ley lines. They can also get headaches, pain or anxiety before earthquakes or other disasters occur anywhere on the planet.

Precognition – the empathic ability to feel when something important is about to happen (often this can be a feeling of inexplicable dread or doom)

Claircognizance or Knowing – the empathic ability to feel what needs to be done in any given circumstance, often accompanied by a feeling of peace and calm, even in the midst of a crisis.

All of these types of empaths have benefits for the healer once properly attuned to their type. Knowing and trusting your intuitiveness is one of the many keys to discovering your inner healer.

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It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.

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John Scardina is Holistic Health Consultant, Reiki Master/Teacher that works on manifesting the inner healer in the individual. “My Thriving as an Empath” program allows you determine the type of empath you are, understand and manifest this power within you. This program aligns you with the empath that you are in order to allow you master or own the benefits of being an empath. Learn more about "My Thriving as an Empath" here.