HOW TO MOVE ON AFTER DIVORCE
Article by Camille Davis
Moving on means living in the present and looking to the future. If you want to move on quickly, you need to take your focus away from the past. If you want to leave the past behind, you may want to get rid of its physical reminders.
To some, moving on also means moving to another house, but that may not be a good option for you. However, you can change how your living space looks so that it reflects your new outlook in life. You can have your bedroom or the entire house remodeled or renovated. Toss aside any objects that remind you of your life with your ex. If you can’t afford to have your house renovated or remodeled, at least have it redecorated. Change your bed sheets and make your bedroom look more like your own. Make it look as feminine as you please!
You may want to ask your children if there is any particular object that they’d like to hold on to. It could be a memento of a family trip or a family picture. Just ask them to keep it in their room and out of your sight. You don’t have to throw away your old pictures. You can keep them in a box and stash them away in a storeroom or you can give them away to your children if they want to hold on to them.
Now, what about your engagement and wedding rings? If the engagement ring is an heirloom in your husband’s family, the decent thing to do is to return it to him or keep it for one of your children. If he bought it from a jewelry store, you can probably sell it together with your wedding ring and buy yourself something nice with the money. Or better yet, you can set up an investment fund for yourself or a college fund for your kids with the sales proceeds from the jewelry.
Build Your New Life
Divorce is a life-altering experience, but change doesn’t have to be bad at all! Now, here’s the fun part. You’re no longer one half of a couple which means you have more freedom to make decisions and pursue what you want in life.
You can probably go back to the things you loved to do when you were single. Were there any hobbies or activities you had to give up because you got married? For instance, perhaps you miss going to the theater, but you had to give that up because your ex-husband hated musicals.
You can also discover a whole new side of you that you wouldn’t otherwise have known if you stayed married with your ex.
Now that your husband is out of the picture, what changes can you make in your life that would make you happy? Is there any fantasy you’ve always wanted to fulfill but couldn’t because you were afraid of what your ex might say or think?
This is also an opportunity for you to reinvent yourself and redesign your life. You can go back to school and earn a postgraduate degree so you can pursue the career goals you may have put on hold in favor of your marriage. Or you could learn a new skill and build a new career.
Of course, when you make decisions, you will have to consider your children, if you have any. But as long as your choices are constructive and healthy, do what makes you happy and create your new dream life.