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Why Caring What Anyone Thinks of You is a Waste of Time

Angel Quintana October 29, 2024

Most of us are hard-wired to care what others think. From a young age, we’re taught that social acceptance is crucial for success and belonging. We learn to mirror the behavior, beliefs, and choices of those around us, seeking approval like it’s our birthright.



At first, it feels innocent, but this endless cycle of seeking validation becomes a complex maze that can leave us feeling unfulfilled, anxious, and perpetually lost in others' expectations.

As we grow older, this drive to be liked can feel like a weight, with every glance, comment, and social media like feeding our need for acceptance. But this constant awareness of what others might think isn’t just exhausting; it becomes an invisible prison that blocks the true self from emerging. We sacrifice our most authentic thoughts, talents, and desires, trading them for a comforting façade that everyone can approve of.

And yet, even when the approval comes, it often feels hollow because it isn’t directed at our real selves, but at the mask we wear.

By living for the opinions of others, we create a life shaped by the outside rather than our inner world. The more we cling to these illusions of acceptance, the more we forget who we are deep down. It’s time to rethink the power we give to others’ judgments, set our authentic selves free, and reclaim our unique identities.


The Magickal Garden Within

The Toxicity of Living for Approval:

Constantly trying to please others chips away at your true self. You find yourself hiding parts of who you are, dimming your passions, and covering your vulnerabilities. It’s an exhausting existence to keep up appearances, constantly adjusting to fit into the mold society expects.

Over time, this can feel like a betrayal of your sacred feminine, the subconscious mind, which craves authenticity, joy, and liberation from the mundane. By letting others dictate your value, you build a wall between your true essence and the world.

Living for external validation also distorts how you see yourself. It can lead you to pursue relationships, jobs, and lifestyles that align with others’ expectations rather than your true desires. This dynamic causes you to forget who you are, the dreams you once cherished, and the unique perspectives that are yours alone. Trying to keep up with the Joneses or wearing a socially acceptable mask slowly dulls your inner light, leaving you feeling like a shadow of your true self.


The Magickal Garden Within

When you finally realize that seeking approval is like chasing a moving target, you’ll see that the only opinion that truly matters is your own. Embracing who you are without needing validation from others is a radical, liberating act. It’s how you reclaim the parts of yourself that have been hidden or forgotten, transforming your life from a series of hollow performances into a genuine celebration of who you are.

Four Reasons Most People Care What Others Think:

  1. Fear of Judgment or Trolling
    Nobody likes to be criticized, mocked, or misunderstood, especially in a world where online trolling can make any personal choice or opinion a target for ridicule. We fear judgment because it’s often harsh and exposes our most vulnerable parts, making us question our worth.

  2. Societal Standards
    Society has a powerful influence over what’s considered acceptable or desirable. This creates pressure to conform, pushing us to play by society’s “rules” to avoid being labeled as outsiders or failures.

  3. Fear of Being Shunned from the Group
    Belonging to a group feels safe, while standing alone can be intimidating. The fear of exclusion often leads people to stay in situations, relationships, or belief systems that don’t truly resonate with them, all to avoid feeling isolated.

  4. Uncertainty About Who They Really Are
    Without a strong sense of self, it’s easy to lean on others’ opinions as a compass. When you don’t know who you are or what you stand for, you might rely on others to shape your identity, making external approval feel like a lifeline.


Magickal Garden

7 Steps to Break Free and Embrace Who You Are:

  1. Connect with Your Inner World
    Start journaling or meditating to uncover your true thoughts and desires. Spending time with yourself allows you to shed layers of social conditioning and reconnect with your authentic self.

  2. Challenge Negative Self-Talk
    Notice any negative inner dialogue that mirrors society’s judgments or others’ criticisms. Practice replacing those thoughts with affirmations of your worth and uniqueness.

  3. Experiment with Expression
    Whether through fashion, art, or hobbies, explore new ways to express yourself that feel true to who you are rather than what others expect. This creative exploration can reveal parts of you that are yearning to be seen.

  4. Set Boundaries
    Decide who gets access to your inner world. By setting boundaries, you keep out negative influences and create a safe space for your true self to emerge.

  5. Celebrate Your Individuality
    List the qualities and quirks that make you different, and actively appreciate them. Celebrating these things reminds you of your uniqueness and reaffirms that they are worth honoring.

  6. Detach from Social Media
    Take a break from social media to reset your mind and reduce exposure to comparison traps. When you’re not constantly looking at what others are doing, it becomes easier to tune into your own journey.

  7. Find Like-Minded Souls
    Seek friends or communities that value authenticity. Being around others who are unapologetically themselves can encourage you to be open and fearless about who you are.

Free Class

Caring less about what others think and more about who you are is a powerful shift that changes everything. Imagine a life where you walk confidently in your truth, unburdened by the need for others’ approval. Each step you take in reclaiming your identity brings you closer to a life that’s built on authenticity, passion, and self-respect.

As you step away from the need for validation, you invite more of your unique energy to the surface. This is where true growth begins—when you honor your journey and discover the freedom in being unapologetically you. In a world where many are afraid to stand out, choosing to live authentically is a gift you give to yourself and an invitation for others to do the same. So be bold, break free, and let the real you shine.

After all, caring what others think of you creates stress, which impacts the liver and causes us to gain weight! Just imagine all the f$3ks you’re not going to give and those extra pounds will just melt off! Win win!

ABOUT ANGEL

Angel Quintana

Angel Quintana is the founder of Holistic Fashionista, an alchemical herbalist and mystery school teacher based in Saint Petersburg, Florida. She's incredibly passionate about the alchemical process known as The Great Work and helping others evolve "the archetypes" found in their inner world, so they can confidently answer the questions: WHO AM I and WHY AM I HERE. Learn more about Angel's work at www.theoccultchateau.com


DISCLAIMER

The information on this website is presented for educational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for the diagnosis, treatment, or advice of a qualified, licensed medical professional. The facts presented are offered as information only, not medical advice, and in no way should anyone infer that we are practicing medicine. Seek the advice of a medical professional for proper application of this material to any specific situation.

InLife Transitions TagsIndividuation, Self Concept, Angel Quintana, Weight Gain, Featured
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HELLO, I'M ANGEL

I created Holistic Fashionista in 2012 to share my gnosis on herbal alchemy, the process of individuation, and how to navigate through life transitions with a Hermetic philosophy called The Great Work. It is truly my honor to share what I've uncovered through the hundreds of books I've read, my own healing journey, and good old fashioned trial and error. I am an herbalist by trade and teacher of the mysteries who just so happens to have been a fashion designer in a past life. Grateful to have you here!

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