5 Ways Smart Women Lose their Sparkle and Burn Out


Smart Women Lose their Sparkle and Burn Out

Smart Women Lose their Sparkle and Burn Out

Article by Kiki Federico
Photo Credit: Dasha & Mari
Magazine: Issue #29

Smart women have a tendency to need to pretend like we have it all “together” all the time. Something about our culture doesn’t allow women to be honest with ourselves, so we push through until we hit a wall and burn out. We can avoid learning by hitting rock bottom if we bring more conscious awareness to our daily activities. 

She says “yes” to other people.
Ambitious women are notorious for people pleasing and thinking they need to prove themselves. So we say “yes” and take on too much. Every time you say “yes” to someone else, think about what you are saying “no” to. It’s probably yourself, your workouts, your downtime, your sleep, your creative side project. It’s important for women to establish healthy boundaries and communicate them to their colleagues, friends and family in order for us to have the energy we need to show up and be fully present, not tired and resentful.

She eats in front of a screen.
“I don’t have time for lunch,” is a terrible habit to fall into. Eating while distracted means that you eat faster, less mindfully and don’t actually know how much you end up eating. Perhaps more importantly, you miss the sensual experience of eating which is a big part of feeling alive and connected to life itself. A bi­product of being out of touch with your body is not knowing what it needs, over­consuming and then wishing we were different. So many ambitious women who overeat are craving to feel full to compensate for an emptiness within them. That emptiness can be mistaken for physical hunger, but it’s often a sign that she needs more pleasure, sweetness or meaning in her life.

She doesn’t know how she wants to feel.
This is equivalent to knowing why you wake up everyday. If you don’t know how you want to feel, then you are likely not going to exercise your strengths and move towards doing what you are good at (and brings you joy). Most people set goals that are attractive targets but are outside of themselves. Then fuel these goals with caffeine, sugar and sacrifice. (Sounds awesome!) By asking yourself, “how will that make me feel when I do/have that,” you tune into a fuller experience of life and the ongoing process of getting to where you want to be. You also open yourself up to understand if the goal will truly serve your highest good or you just like the idea of it. The real question is how does it serve you holistically and not just your need to check boxes or get validation from others.

She doesn’t ask for help.
Receiving is an essential part of the human experience, especially for women. Unfortunately, many of us learned that “it’s better to give than to receive.” (Whoever said that was definitely not a lady.) There is so much pressure to keep up appearances that we have it all together. Lots of ambitious women think, “I should be able to figure this out.” What we miss is the opportunity to communicate our vision (even if it’s for how to collate the copies of the presentation) and empower other people to do a good job and be a part of your team.

She criticizes other women.
Gossiping and competing with women is common, and it’s what’s killing our ability to rise to the levels of success we truly desire. Words are very powerful, and when we perpetuate rumors and position ourselves against other women, we are disempowering all women. Women leaders have a duty to go beyond simply “not talking shit” about other women and actively supporting them. When we have a bad breakup, lose a job, are struggling with a terrible boss, have a baby… who do we call on? Our sisters. What if all women were your sisters? We would tap into the inclusive power of the feminine to unify and amplify our power. We would encourage each other to shine.

It’s a Sign is a compilation of self-improvement articles written by entrepreneurs seeking to bring holistic solutions to everyday problems. Read more articles from this feature.

Kiki Federico is a Feminine Leadership Coach and founder of Ritual Uprising. Her mission is to liberate professional women to live and lead authentically, soulfully and in a community of sisterhood. She believes that women have the most critical role to play in shaping our future. But we must come together, celebrate what makes us women and change what's not working for us. Kiki helps women learn how to access their intuition and bring passion to their revolutionary ideas to become embodied, inspiring feminine leaders. Are you an emerging ­leader, change-­maker or socially conscious woman in business? Then be sure to grab your FREE GIFT here on Owning Your Divine Feminine Power at Work {How to be heard without sounding like a bitch.}

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