7 HABITS OF HAPPY {DIVORCED} WOMEN
Article by Camille Ditele
Photo Credit: Ready Gypset Go
Magazine: Issue #41
Habits of Happy Women
“Happy divorced woman” may sound like an oxymoron to some people, but actually, it’s not. As tragic as a divorce may seem, you don’t have to be mired in despair and sadness. Some women say that getting divorced from their spouses was the best thing that ever happened to them. They emerged from the challenging experience looking and feeling better than ever.
But how can this be? The answer lies in your attitudes and habits. As you know, your habits determine the quality of your life. Here are some habits you can build to maintain your well-being, stay emotionally afloat, and take charge of your life even while going through a difficult divorce:
1| Take good care of yourself.
Remember, you need to be healthy and emotionally strong for yourself and the people who love you, especially your kids. Make sure that you eat a well-balanced diet and maintain a healthy exercise routine. Avoid comfort eating; eating carbohydrate-rich foods will only make you more depressed when the sugar high wears off.
As painful as a divorce can be, don’t allow yourself to get pulled under by depression. Make yourself mentally and emotionally stronger by letting go of anger and refusing to wallow in self-pity.
2| Face your emotional issues head on.
If you’re having emotional difficulties, don’t numb the pain by comfort-eating, drinking, taking drugs, or having sex. Don’t even start! These sources of temporary relief will cause more problems in the long run. Talk to a therapist who can help you process your emotions and deal with your problems in a healthy way.
3| Ask for help whenever you need it.
It can be tempting to isolate yourself while going through a painful divorce, but this will do you more harm than good. Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends and family when things don’t seem to get any easier. You can also join a support group. You don’t have to go through this difficult time alone.
4| Embrace change and enjoy it!
You must accept the fact that things will never be the same after your divorce. From now on, you will have to make decisions and navigate the future on your own. Change can be frightening, but it can also be exciting. It can lead to bigger and better things.
Any time you catch yourself feeling sad because things aren’t what they used to be, look at the flipside. Make a list of the positive changes that can happen or have already happened after you signed your divorce papers.
Here are some examples: If you had a difficult time dealing with your in-laws, you don’t have to think about them anymore. No more walking on eggshells! Also, you’ll have more “me time” because you’ll have one less person to take care of. Oh, that trip you’ve always wanted to take but your ex kept objecting to? It’s time to
5| Set goals and work on them.
Setting goals will remind you that you still have a future ahead of you. Keep yourself busy in a constructive way. You can take up new hobbies, plan trips to places you’ve never been, or start a new business. Always give yourself something to work on and look forward to.
6| Live in the present and savor every moment.
Happy people live in the present. They realize that it’s the only time that truly exists. The past is gone and the future is not yet here. However, it doesn’t mean that the past and the future aren’t important. Learn from the past, but don’t dwell on it. You have to move on. Do what you can to give yourself and your kids a better future, but don’t stress yourself out by worrying. Live one day at a time.
7| Do your best to minimize the impact of divorce on your kids.
Any loving mother can only be happy if her kids are also happy. Divorce can be painful and difficult for children. For one, they need to get used to not living with both parents under the same roof. Settle everything as amicably as possible. Never criticize your ex in front of your children or force them to take sides.
You can’t expect your kids to understand everything, but you shouldn’t underestimate their ability to pick up everything they hear. Make sure to be extra careful when talking about the divorce and your ex when they’re around.
Divorce is a difficult experience for anybody regardless of who got dumped. But with the right and attitude and habits, you can always come out the winner. Yes, you can be divorced and yet be happy, but you have to take responsibility for your own well-being and happiness.
Learn to create your Newly Single Dream Life and connect with Camille at camille@dailycourage.info
