HOW TO GET OVER HEARTBREAK

Article by Heather Price

There is little worse than heartbreak. Those who know, know.

What if…. It was ‘meant’ to happen the way it did for it to end up so perfectly how it will….’

When being in love means being in pain we’re loving too much. When most of our chats with close friends are about him, his problems, his thoughts, his feelings – and nearly all our sentences being with “he….” we’re loving too much.

When we excuse his moodiness, bad temper, indifference, or put-downs as problems due to his childhood and we try to become his therapist, we’re loving too much.

When we read a self-help book and underline all the passages, we think would help him, we’re loving too much.

So, why is it so challenging and difficult to end these unhealthy relationships?

So many women are looking for someone to love them and loving too much becomes an addiction to a partner who is uncaring or unavailable.

I am one of those women. Therefore 10 years ago my decision was reached and the separation from my ex ended up with divorce.

It was exceedingly difficult at first. I remember walking around the local supermarket and looked at the biscuits that were his favorite (he’d eat the whole pack with his tea!), the sweets we’d share when watching a good drama or the jar of piccalilli that I had to keep a stock of, I walked on by and a part of me wanted to sob. Yet the other part stood firm that the decision was in my best interest.

I’m sure many people have experienced this dual feeling I speak of. A part of you feels fearful with worry but another part refuses to go there and dwell in it.

Suddenly all the pieces that fit together no longer do for a time. The ground I walked that was so familiar no longer was and for a short time there is doubt and confusion. I did my best to no longer react to those feelings, because experience taught me it is reorganization and all things pass in a short time and when it did I saw everything from a clearer point of view, with greater insight and understanding.

In times like that, I understood that it’s best to observe what was happening around me and within me. I knew it is not the world changing but I who was changing. The best “help” I could give this change was to not stop it, but just be the quiet observer in wakefulness. Usually, in a short time all the pieces of the puzzle come back together in a new and improved form and I can see everything from a new viewing point!

I woke up in the morning eventually and felt happy to be in the flow of life.

So, my question to you is, can you imagine what it feels like to wake up in the morning ready for the day?

Don't you love feeling like you're in the flow?
What if you didn't have to be reliant on substances to wake you up in the morning or substances to help you fall asleep at night?
How much more confident would you be if you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have access to your own fulfillment inside of you?

So, let’s go a little deeper. Every relationship creates psychic, emotional mental and physical imprints. These imprints create new beliefs and support those that we brought into this lifetime with our karmic history. Our imprints are highly active, creating energetic messages that we send out to others, which act as magnets to attract corresponding energies that make them true. So, an imprint of unworthiness will attract someone who will make us feel unworthy.

Are you looking for someone to take care of you?

You will attract someone who will not be able to or who is unwilling to do that. In fact, they will want you to take care of them.

Are you looking for someone to fill your need for love and attention?

The partners you attract will be as unloving to you as you feel about yourself.

As you do, so you become. Every action that you perform is recorded in you, the soul. These imprints ultimately mold your character and destiny. When you understand this principle, you will pay more attention to bringing your best to everything you do.

At our core we are unconditional love, whole, perfect, and complete. But that core is covered in layers of beliefs from this and other lifetimes, each layer dimming the light of unconditional love from our core until we can see and feel it no longer.

We then see ourselves as imperfect, unlovable, and incomplete. Disconnected from our source of love, we look for it everywhere and in everyone and can't find it because it is within us, at our core.

Reconnecting to this love is simple and we do it by re-learning to love ourselves. It is a process of re-learning because we already know what it is to love ourselves from our spirit, we just must connect that knowing with our humanity.

It is by removing the layers of fear, guilt, shame, hurt and pain that we can find the light of our love-filled core and then send out the message that we are lovable. This is what will attract others who respond by mirroring our love back to us.

Every relationship fulfills a need and when we approach relationships from the point of need, we attract needy relationships. Our personal agenda is active when we are looking for relationships because we have important needs that we want our prospective partner to meet.

Our needs for companionship, sharing, connection, partnership, and love are all part of the reason we want relationships. But when we approach them from our needs, the partners we attract have the same needs we do. And our needs are not met.

Consider what needs you have around relationships.

Do you want someone to spend time with, to provide emotional or financial support, to provide stability or to just be a presence in your life so you are not alone?

All of these are important needs and if they are your primary focus, they will either attract someone with similar needs or drive every prospective partner away because they will see you as needy.

Your needs represent your expectations, what you want people to do for you. To manifest the relationship of your dreams you must be willing to fill your own needs and not expect to find a partner to do that for you. Your energy must be whole and complete, so you attract a partner who is also whole and not needy.

Are you ready to let your love-filled core shine?