What to Do When it All Falls Apart

What to Do When it All Falls Apart

What to Do When it All Falls Apart


Article by Nikka Karli Salifu
Photo Credit: Nancy Schoenmakers
Magazine: Issue #27

Have you ever been out, hanging with your peeps, shaking your groove thang at the baddest club in town? Looking smokin’ HOT, sipping your delish, rarely-been-seen-before, Carrie-worthy, beyond-fantabulous cocktail? Your skinny jeans are putting in WORK, calling all the gorgeous and consciously-evolved boys to the yard? You know, the total life of the party?

Only to realize that, despite all your best efforts and pretty freakin’ exquisite {ahem} bottom line, you aren’t actually enjoying yourself?  Like, at all? As in, you are actually completely and miserably unfulfilled, unsatisfied, and (if you’re being honest with yourself) unsure of how in the world you’re going to FIX the situation? Ugh.

Or how about this. There you are, cruising along to your favorite 80’s movie soundtrack. Tunes are hot. You’re singing at the top of your lungs (maybe even somewhat in-tune). Hair looks fly. Outfit is on point. And then out of nowhere, your phone dies (taking your beloved tuneage with it). Your voice starts cracking like a Vegas sidewalk in the dead of summer. Your hair is frizzing like nobody’s business (and you now look like YOU belong in an 80’s hair band). Oh. And you spill your venti soy chai (extra hot, no water, no foam) all over your sweet new maxi.

Ever have one of those days? Ever have one of those years?


Everything is good. I mean, SO GOOD. And you’re happy. Like willing-to-overnight-babysit-your-bratty-whiny-spoiled-niece kind of happy.

But then the bottom falls out. And it falls so far that you think it’s probably traveled all the way to the core of the earth by now. As in, there’s no possible hope of ever seeing that bad boy again.

What’s an up-and-coming visionary to do? Throw in the proverbial towel and give up on your dreams of making an impact and building a global platform of change? Or slap some gel in that wayward hair of yours (big hair is kinda in right now anyways), grab your spare leggings and crop combo from the back seat (because a girl’s always gotta have a backup), and decide that you’re just going to have to bootstrap your life together?

The latter of the two above options? Those are the kind of people who make it. They are the ones who see their dreams turn into reality. It is these driven and ambitious souls who- despite the world seeming to fall apart around them- are motivated to actually see their umpteen years of labor come to fruition.

So, which one are you? The one who crumbles in the face of resistance? Or are you the one who rises above? The one who knows that YOU choose the course of your life and that only you get to determine your own destiny?

Yes, of course there will be hard times. Some of them will be so ridiculously hard that you may wonder if you will ever get to see the light of day again. And some of them will threaten to break you into a million pieces of shattered hope and obliterated dreams.

But, if you make the decision that- no matter what- your dreams are not optional, you will succeed. You WILL actualize your vision. You WILL overcome the battle that rages.

“But how?” you ask…

  • By unleashing the power of your inner genius, your intuition, your fullest potential.
  • By making a pact with your soul that you will never again back down in the face of adversity when it comes to your dreams.
  • By giving yourself permission to free your power, that sacred energy of truth and wisdom that you have kept dormant for way too long.
  • By not caring what other people think of you and your journey.  Like, EVER.
  • By- regardless of distraction, resistance, or fear- fully committing to your brilliance and going ALL IN on what you say you want.
  • By being of service.
  • By loving yourself more and owning EXACTLY who you are.

And, once you make the decision to commit, you must then take action. Daily, consistent, MASSIVE action in the direction of your goals.

You must keep your eyes focused on the horizon of your vision. You do not let your focus waver. Not for one second. (And then, when it inevitably wavers, you brush that shizz off and get right back to chasing down your dreams.) You must endeavor to always be both persistent AND consistent.

If your passion is there, your actions will follow.

So, when in doubt, follow your passion. Take balls-to-the-wall action day in and day out. Let no one and no thing deter you from your purpose. You must no longer rely on anyone else to make your dreams come true. It’s all up to you, Gorgeous.

And the funny thing about it? It always has been. Here’s to your Untaming.

The Empress Festival

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