What is the Real Definition of Sexy?


Article by Priscilla Wainwright    Photo Credit: Sarah Loven
Issue #20

What is the real definition of sexy?

What is the real definition of sexy?

At the Teen Choice Awards, actor Ashton Kutcher revealed 3 secrets to being really truly sexy. He’s so right on, I just had to share these secrets with you.

Our society really has “sexy” all wrong! It focuses on the external – one’s looks, dress, posture, and interpersonal behavior.

Society’s definition is really a slippery slope! It leads us to the superficial, to objectification, and to ignore the components of “sexy” that REALLY count.

And, given the photoshopped images the media throws at girls and women, it’s no wonder 78% of girls dislike their bodies by the time they’re 17. Society’s definition of “sexy” is a recipe for self-loathing, not just for girls, but for boys as well.

So….if society’s got “sexy” all goofed up, what then is the real truth? Here’s Ashton’s take on it. He says “sexy” is made up of 3 key components:

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1| Be Really Smart. He’s not talking IQ here, but being insightful, studying, and learning all you can. Not just academically, but about life as well. This will help build your overall confidence, and help you be a better conversationalist.

2| Be Thoughtful. Be caring and considerate. Show legitimate interest in others and take their needs into consideration. Be pleasant to be around. Recent studies actually show that physical/cosmetic beauty can often work against you here.

They revealed that the more beautiful someone is, the more others are likely to view her as selfish, stuck-up, and not nice to other people. While this may not be true in most cases, it is a commonly held perception. So being thoughtful is very refreshing. It will up your score no matter how you look.

3| Be Generous. Give! Share your time, talent, and treasure…..and do so without counting the cost or calculating what you’ll get back in return. Don’t keep score. Score-keeping belies generosity and turns your giving into a ploy – I give just so I can get. NO! Give from your heart. Give plenty and cheerfully. Set reasonable limits, however. Don’t burn yourself out, nor let yourself be taken advantage of. Granted, that balance may sometimes be difficult.

There you have it. Ashton told his audience that these 3 qualities are the foundation of sexy.   Then he added this punch line, “The rest is crap.”

Society snookers us! We are told, “The World is the way it is”. Therefore, we’re told we SHOULD want to marry, buy a house, have a family, etc. This is bull-hockey! These things may be nice, but they’re not for everyone.

Don’t follow the herd just because of some cultural standard. What’s REALLY sexy is authenticity, being your true self and having the courage to follow your own star rather than some antiquated cultural norm.

Here’s Ashton’s bottom line and final words.  Ignore them at your peril: “Don’t LIVE a life. BUILD one.” Rise Up and ROAR!

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